Can You Top Our Two Favorite Descriptions of Tesla's Cybertruck?
In a hidden lab, unbeknownst to fans and investors, Elon Musk and his team of imagineers have been secretly toiling on a new project vehicle. The goal is a mark of simple genius: To unseat the Pontiac Aztec, widely regarded as the worst design fail in automotive history. The world reacted with shock and awe during the livestream reveal. The program featured Elon Musk as ringmaster, what looked a lot like a guillotine, a minion named Franz, and a clearly heard F-bomb uttered by the CEO of a public company. If we ever see Franz again we will be shocked.
As hokey as the whole "bullet-proof" armored Tesla glass failure was, the Cybertruck's design language overshadowed the fiasco. The truck looks like a character from BMW's Chris Bangle's newest children's book. If the Cybertruck fails in the marketplace among adults, it may have a huge revenue stream as a He-Man vehicle in the next remake.
Let's not dwell on the opinions of one Torque News writer. What the heck do I know anyway? Let's consider a pair of comments that succinctly describe Tesla's new Cybertruck design from those with more importance to the truck's success. First up, "Was it drawn by a five-year-old? What is that?" This comment was tweeted by a person watching the livestream. An EV hater? Hardly. This was posted by the Interactive Content Manager at Green Car Reports. This is not the opinion of this editor in the official capacity of his job. It is also one of the most honest and apt descriptions from anyone in green vehicle media we have read.
What the automotive media thinks is not really at issue. What will truck buyers think? Cruise over to any vehicle forum this morning and you will find a lot of strong opinions. Nearly all of them are negative. Most of them pretty funny. One we watch closely is the Facebook Chevy Silverado and GMC Sierra Club. In order to find meaningful numbers of buyers, Tesla is going to have to steal share from these truck owners. One comment we will paraphrase that seemed spot-on to us was "Was that thing made on Minecraft?"
Setting aside the fun and games for a moment, one of our peers in the automotive industry reached out to your author this morning and asked, "Isn't it being tough to break the windows a safety issue? What about entrapments for emergency crews to access someone?" Yes, Jimmy D., it absolutely is. Here's a sad example of entrapment risk in the real world.
Ahh, who cares what automotive safety experts, green car experts, and truck buyers think? The Cybertruck is for sure going to be bullet-proof, cost under $40K, and sell like hotcakes. Right?
Note: The author of the tweet shown in this story approved its mention here.
About the Author: You know John Goreham as a Torque News writer/editor who primarily focuses on safety, green vehicles, and new products. In addition to his work at Torque News, John Goreham has reported truck trends and news for a major truck enthusiast publication since 2014. His truck market and general vehicle reporting is also published in over 100 daily newspapers in the U.S.